The university of Iowa released some guidance this week to make fans aware of unacceptable costumes for Saturday’s game, which just so happens to be on Halloween.
No weapons, simulated weapons or other props.
Well shit. There goes our plan to roll out the Hawkize tank this weekend. We were planning on attending the game hundreds strong as the Hawkize army, heavy artillery and all. The gun actually shoots beer, in case you were wondering.
You're telling us we can't bring this? What about the bus?
No authentic looking law enforcement uniforms.
Andyram is tired of getting hassled by law enforcement for partying too hard on gamedays. This week, he was planning to attend the game as an actual Sheriff, and maybe even serve as Kirk Ferentz’s personal protector. That is, until the athletic department spoiled his plans.
Can't arrest me if I'm a Sheriff!
No player or game official uniforms that, in the sole discretion of authorized law enforcement personnel are so authentic in appearance that they might be mistaken for an actual player or game official.
In case you’ve been in a cave for the past few days (or had a horrible hangover after drinking away the stress from Saturday’s game), we’re getting a little thin at running back after Adam Robinson sprained his ankle running all over Michigan State. Shonn Greene, fresh off a 144 yard, 2 touchdown performance for the Jets last week, is planning on attending the game this week in a Paki O’Meara costume to help ease our running back woes. And by “attending,” we mean starting at running back.
Paki is looking just as good as Shonn Greene. Oh, wait. That is Shonn Greene.
No item which, in the sole discretion of authorized law enforcement personnel, poses an apparent security threat to those attending the game.
Current Colts and former Hawks safety Bob Sanders was planning on attending the game this weekend until this notice was put out. Bob Sanders is a security threat to everyone he looks at. There is no authorized law enforcement personnel in their right mind that would disagree with that statement.
This is the face of an apparent security threat.
So there you have it, folks. Follow these simple rules and you’re guaranteed to have a happy Halloween at Kinnick this Saturday.
On Iowa, GO HAWKS!!!!!!!
