Okay, so I missed last week. Big deal, it took a little longer then expected to recover from the jager-fest that was tailgating before the beat down that Iowa dished on it’s lowly retarded younger brother named ISU.
So now its week 3, and the AP is starting to catch up to what I started, PSU in the top 5, The U. in the top 10 and now when are they going to realize that Iowa is clearly the best team in the nation? Well, rest assured, these mother fuckers will see come Saturday night when Iowa drops the hammer in Happy Valley.
So here we go,
Top 10
1. Iowa (3-0)
If I could ask Daryll Clark one question it wouldn’t be “Why do you have pictures of Derek Moye giving you the rusty fish hook on facebook?” It would be more like, “Are you going to try to tackle The AsSASHin Saturday night on the five plays you get a chance to?”
2. Arizona (2-1)
I feel in love this weekend..
With one of their cheerleaders.
3. Penn State (3-0)
If both Sash has less then 5 pics and A-Rob has less then 5 TDS this weekend then they can move up next week. Which seems very unlikely. By the way, when JoePa dies this weekend due to heart failure in the 1st quarter when Broderick (Mercedes) Binns takes out the entire offense on one play, the show must continue!
4. Michigan (3-0)
These guys are a prime example how everybody working a little unpaid overtime could turn this economy around.
5. Ohio State (2-1)
How can people talk bad about a man that wears a sweater vest to work, seriously?
6. The U. (3-0)
We were discussing kicking Purdue out of the Big 10 and letting UNI join.. Maybe it should be these guys?
7. Cal (3-0)
Or what about these guys? Nah, too much of a hippie town for my liking. Although, putting the hurt on Minnesota did you two things: 1. Made me one happy mother fucker. 2. Earned you a number 7 ranking this week.
8. Wisconsin (3-0)
There are two things I’m looking forward to when Iowa travels to Madison next month and one thing I’m not. Taking the Hawkize Bus up there and beating your skulls in. The thing I’m not looking forward too, hearing about Bielema’s tattoo in every Des Moines register article that week.
9. Indiana (3-0)
C’mon, they’re undefeated.. That’s more than USC can say…
10. Alabama (3-0)/Ole Miss (2-0)
Oh shit, wait, I’m suppose to rank the 10th best team in the country not give you the names of the two most inbred teams in the nation.. Oh well, I’m too lazy to change it now.
Bottom 4
1. Iowa State
So you finally beat one of the shittiest teams ever assembled that was also depleted with more injuries then Jewish concentration camp in 1940 and you go out and do what? Busted smoking weed? Losers..
2. Kent State
You fucking bums. How do you lose to these worthless pieces of garbage?
3. Overrated Big 12 teams
Okay, these shitty teams are so overrated right now.. The thing that pisses me off is that they are so fucking overrated that they go out and lose to the BYU’s and Houstons of the world and everybody is so blind they decide to rank these shitackulor (yeah, that’s a word, I made it up) teams thinking that they are good now. Fuck, for christ sake.
4. The Entire Country of Mexico
Okay, I am changing my previous threat and now saying that if they cancel 1 game because of your swine flu bullshit, we are going to go for the neck and shut down every Western Union in the US and then rename the taco to the “Freedom Fold”
